Self-confident people are proud of their abilities, and honest about where they need to improve. Part of that is maintaining a realistic focus. Having the ability to see things as they are instead of how we wish or fear them to be. We all have trouble seeing the truth at times. Sometimes accepting something is impossible until you put plans in place to deal with reality.

Living in a Dream world

We all know someone who sees his or her life the way they wish it was instead of how they really live. It’s frustrating for us, but dangerous for them. If in their minds they’ve already reached their potentials, they have no motivation, nothing to strive for, and very little chance of ever enjoying the here and now.

Ed tries to be the father to his boys that he wanted as a child. He goes to soccer games, and school meetings. He keeps an updated picture in his wallet and shows it to all his friends. He’s a caring dad, and yet, when his youngest son is sick and in the hospital he can’t force himself to see him. He’s so phobic of hospitals he can’t get in the front door, but later, when he’s talking to friends, he tells them how horrible it was to see his son in the hospital.

By lying to himself, and to his friends, Ed insures the same thing will happen again. His wife will be made to go to the hospital alone, his son won’t see him in the hospital, and Ed will feel like a horrible father. If he faced his fear of the hospital, he might be able to find the motivation to fix his phobia and be there for his family if there’s another emergency. For now, he can’t admit to himself that he wasn’t there for his son.

Living in a dream world robs Ed of self-confidence in two ways. The first is by erasing the need for change which would make his life more fulfilling. The second is simply because Ed isn’t a narcissistic. He knows he wasn’t there when his family needed him, and it makes him doubt his abilities as a dad.

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