Self-Confident Teens (Part 1)
Teenagers could easily be a species unto themselves. Moody. Reckless. Self-centered, but not self-assured. They can drive you crazy in an attempt to see how far away they can really push you. Boy or girl, the key to helping your teen build and repair self-confidence lies in never being too far out of reach.
Girls are much more likely than boys to become depressed, delve into self-destructive behaviors and damage their futures because of low self-esteem. The easiest way to help them develop a healthy self-image is by encouraging them to try and master new things. Of course, you’ll have to make sure they are listening first – and to you, not the cell phone.
Talk with your daughters. Talk to your teen girls every day, just like when they were back in grade. “What was the hardest class you had today?” “Have you studied WWII yet in American History?” “How did the scrimmage go in basketball?”
Maybe you’re looking at that list of questions and asking yourself, “which classes are my kids in at school?” If you’ve completely withdrawn from your child’s life, now is the time to get reacquainted. Meet with your child’s principal or school counselor. Find out what classes she’s taking and what extracurriculars she’s in.
Toss the grades out the window. Parents, it’s time to admit that short list of letters exists mainly for us. A, B, C, D … they don’t demonstrate how hard our kids work in class, just how many answers they get right. They might have worked hard studying, but they also might have had a lucky guess.
You can’t test effort, but you can see it. Get involved with your daughter’s friends and her academics by offering to host club meetings and study groups. Being involved with your teen girl, and particularly being a good listener, will help her feel supported and secure.