Self-Confident Kids (Part 1)
Having positive, realistic expectations of oneself is an attitude that begins to form in infant-hood. There will be times when you feel a child in your life might be too big for his or her britches, but – to an extent – narcissism is a survival instinct in young humans. Really, it’s found in most humans going through transitional periods in life.
The spanking Debate
To spank, not to spank. That is a huge question for many of today’s parents. People usually head into their first pregnancy with expectations for themselves. Again, being in a transitional period, expectant parents can be a bit narcissistic too. They may have unrealistic expectations regarding the behavior of their child, and be unable to handle problems when they come along.
Spanking teaches a child that someone else will hurt them if they fail. There may be exceptions to this rule, but that does not encourage them to take risks, or feel supported when they don’t succeed.
Bribery
Surprisingly, rewards can be just as damaging. When children are taught to put forth effort for a star, a grade, or a toy, they disconnect the process with personal growth and pride in themselves.
You may hear a child who is used to earning rewards say, when asked to do something, “What do I get for doing it?” Is this the attitude we want to teach to our children? That their value depends on what they earn? No. We want them to value themselves for their abilities and hard work.
Your Kids
Listening is the number one way to show your child that you care. That goes a long way in helping them care about themselves. Listen through the jokes and the stories, and you’ll pick up a lot of important tips along the way. You also set the stage for shared listening, when they pay attention to your stories about your own childhood. This technique can be used for encouragement and to help your child solve problems.