Now once you’re well-informed and asking questions, make sure that you don’t turn this into a disadvantage by monopolizing the conversation when speaking.

When two people are talking, there should be a give and take, not a monologue.

No one likes conversing with someone who only seems interested in talking about himself, and you’ll soon find yourself alone.

If you’re about to enter an unfamiliar social situation, it pays to do your homework. If you’re going to an art show, brush up on the featured artist’s work so you will have tidbits of information to offer others. If you’re attending a charitable event, learn a few things about the non-profit organization so you have a relevant topic of conversation. You can even do your homework when it comes to other people. Ask the host of a party you’re going to attend a few questions about your fellow guests to make it easier to start a conversation and to make the whole affair more comfortable.

Sometimes all it takes to feel more confident in a new social situation is to bring along a friend. This isn’t always possible, but it can be less daunting to break into an unfamiliar situation when you know at least one other person in the room. Don’t use your friend as a crutch, though. You want to mingle with others, not stand off to the side only talking to each other.

As with so many things, practice makes perfect. You’ll feel more secure in social situations if you simply get out more often. Attend company functions and don’t shy away from invitations from friends and family. Once you’re at an event, put yourself in the middle of the action. Strike up a conversation, join in a game, and take a step on the road to more self-confidence.

If you have difficulty in social situations, you’re not going to experience an overnight change. But if you continue to work on being friendly, starting conversations and being a good listener, you’ll see the benefits of your hard work, and maybe some day you’ll be one of the envied ones who always look cool and confident.

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