While it can be difficult to change your fundamental personality, it’s possible to take small steps to become more outgoing and more comfortable around others, resulting in more confidence.

When you’re starting small, think of some small thing that you can do every day that forces you to interact more with others. Perhaps you’ll commit to greeting everyone you see at work and maintaining eye contact for a few seconds instead of staring at the floor. Do this one thing until it becomes a habit and is no longer a struggle. Then think of a slightly more daring goal. If you started out with saying, “hello,” maybe you could now try to start a certain number of conversations each day. Gain confidence in your ability to interact with others one bit at a time, and you will only continue to grow.

If you think that you would never actually go through with smaller ways of trying to get past your shyness, maybe you would benefit from throwing yourself into a new activity where you’ll either have to sink or swim. Think of something that would put you at the center of attention, such as taking part in a theater performance or even hosting a party and go for it. Once you’ve realized that you can be more outgoing on a larger scale, dealing with smaller day-to-day interactions will seem simple in comparison.

When you’re having a hard time, take confidence in the fact that everyone feels down on themselves at some point. An outgoing person naturally has an easier time in social situations, which may make him appear more confident to outside observers. But no one really knows what is going through his head. The next time you encounter an outgoing person, instead of feeling envious of her ability to start a conversation with anyone, take a moment to consider how she might be feeling on the inside. Maybe she thinks she looks fat in the dress she’s wearing or is having trouble at work which is bringing down her confidence.

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