Kids crave structure and boundaries, and parents require self-confidence to create this structure. Kids will certainly say that they want to stay up late and eat pizza every night, but confident parents will know that they need to make the decisions about what is best for their kids.

When it comes to parenting, even if you’re feeling less than confident, the best thing you can do is to fake it. Don’t let your children see your doubts and fears.

That’s not to say that you should be emotionless in front of your children when it comes to important events and feelings. But if you’re not sure if macaroni and cheese was the best choice for tonight’s dinner, don’t let your kids smell your indecision because they can turn on you in an instant, and the next thing you know, you’ll be hitting the McDonald’s drive-thru.

A bit of an exaggeration, perhaps, but the point is that kids can sense indecision and a lack of confidence. On the one hand, it makes them nervous because adults are supposed to be in charge and know what’s going on at all times. On the other hands, many kids will also see it as a situation ripe for exploitation.

Sometimes the two feelings combine, so that a child will act out because he’s feeling insecure. It’s easier to hit your little brother than to think about the implications of mommy lacking confidence.

It can be easy to feel down on yourself and lose confidence in your parenting when something happens to your child. Maybe she wouldn’t have gotten a cold if you had bundled her up more carefully before going outside. Maybe he wouldn’t have broken his wrist if you never bought him a skateboard. You can’t let yourself be paralyzed by the fear brought on by these maybes. Be confident that you’re doing the best you can, learn from your mistakes and don’t become so overprotective that your child isn’t given room to grow

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