When we think of bullying, an iconic image of a bigger, stronger kid taking a five-year-old’s lunch money on the playground probably comes to mind. In the 21st century, bullying has taken on surprising new aspects while maintaining its power to do harm. Yet the constant truth remains that bullying is strongly related to self-confidence.

Surprisingly, bullies may actually have low self confidence. They pick on others who are weaker to make them feel better about themselves. This isn’t always the case, though. Sometimes bullies have so much self-confidence that they can’t possibly fathom why what they are doing is wrong. Most victims of bullies, however, firmly fall in the camp of low confidence. And if they don’t have little self-confidence to begin with, they will soon see their confidence diminish in the face of constant attacks.

Now why is it that bullies tend to pick on people who already display low self-confidence? Can bullies smell fear? In some cases, yes, bullies can pick up on nervous body language, but bullies are also likely to try to pick on anyone. Victims who stand up for themselves and don’t give bullies the reaction they seek won’t be picked on a second time.

If your child is the victim of bullying, you’ll want to do everything you can to prevent her self-confidence from being permanently affected. If you’re afraid that your child wouldn’t tell you if she were being bullied, look for sudden changes in her behavior or suspicious cuts or bruises that may signal trouble at school.

Teach your child what to do if a bully confronts him. An important lesson for everyone to remember is that bullying is solely a matter of power, but bullies only have as much power as you allow them to have. A confident and self-assured child won’t allow a bully to take power from them.

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