The difference between outward and self-confidence stands out the most when you’re talking about overachievers. To onlookers they seem sure they can do it all – and do it well – but inside they constantly sweat about failure. Many times they get involved in activities they don’t enjoy to satisfy the expectations of other people.

Self-confident people work toward improvements that help them enjoy their lives. That matches their actions with their intentions, and see success as life improvements they enjoy. Working for Work’s sake – or your friends or parents and especially for the strangers down the street – rob you of self-confidence.

Overachievers judge themselves based on other people’s opinions. When a teacher tells an overachieving teen they’ve done well on a test, they feel confident in that subject. When a teacher tells them they’re disappointed in their work, they feel worthless regardless of how much effort they put into it.

Switching someone’s perspective from outward acknowledgment to inner satisfaction isn’t easy. Not even when that person is you.

Ditching Your Baggage

The key to self-confidence is deciding which activities you enjoy. What things do you like doing? Think hard about why. Do you like working as a volunteer because of your interaction with people, or because your name is printed in a bulletin at the end of each month?

Ending commitments can be very hard work. Partially because other people expect your participation even more now that you’ve made a name for yourself. Routine has a lot to do with things too. Overachievers typically like life to be predictable, even if it means doing things they don’t enjoy.

By doing this, you create a path to boredom and eventual self-sabotage. You should take pride and enjoyment from everything you do. Only then will you feel fulfilled and have the drive to improve your life and believe in yourself.

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