Chris and Lilly, on the other hand, have a very one-sided relationship. Chris talks, and Lilly listens. If he encouraged her to take a bigger part in discussions, he would soon hear her views on many different people and their lives. That would be one clue to her true intentions.

Chris isn’t being a great friend either. He hasn’t extended her the same kind of support or encouragement. She might tell him it’s okay that they always talk about him, but unbalanced friendships create resentment and backstabbing.

Cleaning House

Sometimes you reach a point where you have to look at your friendships, and decide who stays, who goes, and when you’re willing to work it out. If you are trying to become more self-confident, seek out the friends who are fun, make you feel good, and keep you involved.

Just like any other area of life, you can take baby steps to improve your relationships with other people. Just be realistic. Someone who uses you as a drinking buddy, or a drug connection, isn’t a true friend. If you can’t move on to healthier activities, you may be a component of an unhealthy addiction.

Likewise, many friends won’t have time for discussions once your life begins to turn around. Friends who can only lend an ear during troubled times might be using you to make themselves feel better. They definitely won’t help you in setting attainable goals, or in praising your efforts.

Being a Good Friend

Adults and kids take pride in being good friends to others. Be supportive of their dreams and decisions, recognize their individual needs when giving advice, and be positive about effort even when their efforts fail.

By being a good friend, you inspire the same in return. You also know what it takes to be a positive factor in someone’s life, and have a more realistic attitude when considering whether you can fix a “bad” friendship or not.

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