Vocalize Your Independence

Laura and Steve starting dating at a time when her life was really low. He helped her – emotionally and financially – and now that she has a good job, he freely spends her money. She doesn’t want to seem ungrateful and she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she’s growing increasingly resentful that he’s carelessly spending what she’s working hard to earn.

“I just want to break up with him!” She says in frustration. Is this realistic?

While this may be simpler for her to say then talking to him about money problems, it does nothing to fulfill her goal of protecting his feelings. Talking to Steve about being financially independent from each other caries a risk, but not as great as breaking things off completely.

Vocalizing can be a huge risk for someone to take. A person might need to look at alternatives. Letters can be an excellent way to share your opinion in a positive way. It’s also a baby step because it introduces a conversation without the fear of looking someone in the eye and seeing their disappointment, frustration, anger, or sadness.

Breaking Ties

Sadly, sometimes no matter how you state your position, family will not listen. Your sister-in-Law will keep dropping by unannounced, only to degrade your house. Your brother will keep borrowing money, he may even steal your car. Your parents may always talk down to you. Sometimes the only safe decision you have is cutting someone out of your life.

Maxine’s mother was always an overbearing figure in her life. During an argument Maxine was having with her husband, her mother burst in their front door, and flew into their living room, kicking and screaming at the man in her life. It was his final straw. She had to make a decision, and unfortunately for Maxine’s out-of-control mother, she chose her husband over the rest of her family.

« 1 2 3 »