Those who have verbal/linguistic intelligence are adept at dealing with the written and spoken word.

People with musical intelligence best learn and express themselves through music, rhythm and dance.

Logical/mathematical intelligence is evident in number and computational skills. Patterns and logic come easily to these learners.

Those with visual/spatial intelligence have an excellent perception of their location and/or orientation in regards to other objects and show keen visual awareness.

Body/kinesthetic intelligence leads to excellence in the areas of coordination and physical activity.

A person with intrapersonal intelligence is self-aware and reflective. Interpersonal intelligence allows for good communication and working well with others.

People who display naturalist intelligence are at their finest when observing nature and trying to reach understandings of their observations.

Therefore, this is fine to tell a bunch of teachers, but what does it have to do with everyday life and especially self-confidence? The foundation of adult self-confidence is created at an early age. What if you spent your entire school life feeling like you couldn’t measure up? That you were never good at the things your teachers asked you to do. It’s easy to see how such feelings could leave someone with low self-confidence that could stay with them later in life.

Most school assignments and standardized tests are set up to reward students with verbal/linguistic skills. Intrapersonal skills come into play when teachers ask students to reflect on an experience, often resulting in a writing prompt like, “Write about a time when you…” Interpersonal skills are useful for group work, but with the wrong teacher, you may never get a chance to display those skills while filling out worksheets at your desk. Some intelligences would be useful in specific classes, such as body/kinesthetic abilities in gym class. But try to use those skills when it’s time to read a story, and you’ll probably get sent to the principal’s office.

1. Work on your conversational skills

Improving your conversational skills can help you feel more comfortable and confident in any social situation which will lead to larger confidence overall. If you practice maintaining eye contact and being a good listener, you will also give off a more confident aura and you can enjoy the benefits of being treated as a confident person.

2. Set goals

As with anything you want to achieve, building confidence will be easier if you set specific goals. Whether you want to be confident enough to be president of an organization or simply give a presentation at the next department meeting, you can then create an action plan for achieving this goal.

3. Get involved

When you become involved in an organization, project or committee, the new experiences, improved skills and chances for leadership and personal development can help improve confidence. Think about joining a professional organization, signing up for a committee at work or volunteering your time at a worthwhile organization.

4. Use positive imagery and self-talk

The road to self-confidence is primarily a mental exercise. Visualizing yourself as a confident person is one way to create a confident mentality. Positive affirmations are another way of building confidence. Tell yourself that you are a confident person and don’t give negative thoughts room to grow.

5. Seek professional help

Motivational speakers make their living from helping people make the most of their lives, which often involves helping their listeners build confidence. If you can’t attend a seminar in person, many speakers also offer DVDs and CDs of their motivational performances. Numerous self-help books are also available that can lead you to helpful strategies for building confidence. Life coaches provide one-on-one help to assist customers in reaching their potential. If there are more deep-seated issues getting in the way of feeling confident, you may wish to look into counseling or psychiatric help. Depression and other illnesses can decimate your self-confidence, and simply thinking positive thoughts or attending a motivational talk aren’t enough to feel better.

Finding your own style is a great way to feel more confident about the clothes you wear. Look to fashion magazines, catalogues and your stylish friends and associates for inspiration, but then create a look that’s entirely your own.

Whether you prefer a tailored look or a hippie bohemian style, whatever makes you feel comfortable with yourself is the right choice.

There are times when you’ll need to ignore this personal style and wear clothes that are appropriate for a certain occasion. When you’re faced with such an event, or even if you have to do it every day for your job, find a way to make the required dress work for you, perhaps by adding your own style with subtle accessories. And if you just can’t think of a way to feel comfortable in a tuxedo or the lime green bridesmaid dress your friend selected, draw confidence from the fact that everyone around you feels the same way.

When it comes to clothes, the most important thing is to wear items that make you feel confident and avoid everything else. If you have a shirt that clings to your stomach and makes you feel incredibly fat, then the obvious answer is to not wear that shirt anymore. Too many people would continue to wear the shirt and feel their self-confidence drop every time they put it on. Find pieces that work with your body type and your best natural attributes. If you’re not sure how to do it, ask your most stylish friend or family member or find a full-service clothing store.

Denial is the refusal to be held accountable for your actions. The Blame Game. Pointing the finger. When you give the power of your life over to events and other people, there is no hope for improvement. There’s no ability to improve, and your skills are seen as worthless.

The Power of Responsibility

Self-confidence relies heavily on feeling good about your ability to change and improve your situation. Faith on yourself. People suffering from denial take themselves out of the question, and leave their lives up to others to fix.

It’s very hard to take back responsibility of your actions once you’ve given it away. In essence you say nothing you do does anything at all, so someone else must be doing things for you.

Giving responsibility over your life has some subtle benefits, for the right person. If you honestly believe nothing you do has consequences, you never feel guilty. That leads to a lot of confusion when your actions hurt someone, especially those close to you.

Giving responsibility to someone else also means you never have to worry about leaving your comfort zone. You can stay who you are, where you are, forever, and anything results – in your mind – was meant to happen to you.

Because people in denial do not believe they control their actions, they don’t focus on how what they do affects what they want. They’re often found sabotaging their own needs to fulfill the expectations of other people. The self-destructive behaviors that result will not end until the person takes back responsibility for their lives.

Taking it back

The first issue for anyone in denial to overcome is their sense of worthlessness. People don’t just give up their rights to get out of responsibility. They have a serious need of proof that they’re competent.

This isn’t to say that they’re imaginary but that your confidence depends on your personal thoughts and perceptions about the way you look. If you can change the way you think about your appearance, you can change your level of self-confidence.

Weight is a common problem when it comes to self-confidence. Most people like to blame the pervasive media images of stick-thin women and buff men, but it’s also possible for something more personal to cause feelings of doubt when it comes to your weight. Maybe your grandma always called you “chubby” or your high school sweetheart left you for a linebacker.

Along with weight, many are concerned that they will never be listed among the world’s “most beautiful people.” For the most part, you just have to accept the hand that genetics has dealt you, but remember that even the stars have to be airbrushed to look as good as they do in magazine photo spreads.

Your appearance also relies on a few factors outside of genetics. What you wear, from your shoes to your glasses, and how you style your hair are often the first things that others will notice about your appearance.

The first thing that you must do to improve confidence in your appearance is let go of self-doubt. Stop your negative thoughts about being too fat or not handsome enough. Then, if you’re receiving negative feedback from others, make sure you stop listening to it. The only way to gain self-confidence is to feel confident about yourself as you are.

Reality television shows that give people makeovers perpetuate the myth that someone can be “fixed” with enough plastic surgery to make them beautiful. It may be tempting to turn to plastic surgery to correct perceived flaws in your appearance. However, that will only change the surface; it won’t change the way you fundamentally feel about yourself. Instead of being someone with low self-esteem, you’ll be someone with low self-esteem and high cheekbones.

Appreciate You Every Day of Your Life

You might be wondering what there is to appreciate, or maybe you associate your good points with something bad. Don’t discount your abilities. You may not be using them for the best things right now, but you can always change. Remember, baby steps make things possible.

Let’s look at Jay. He’s everyone’s favorite guy. Cute. Funny. Outwardly confident. Those traits got him a place with the local dealer supplying drugs to society’s upper crust, and he’s making loads of money. He’s also constantly worrying about the police, and the women in his life don’t take him very seriously.

He’s still personable, funny, and knows how to make himself look presentable. Those are skills he can use in many fields to be successful, but it takes recognizing them first.

After looking at your life you may still see nothing worth celebrating. Journal. At the end of each day write down a play-by-play of everything you did from waking up to lying down. Somewhere buried among the bathroom breaks and playing solitaire on the computer at work, you’ll find something you affected in a positive way. Maybe you held the door open on the elevator (courteous) or you walked home instead of hailing a cab (healthy choices, and adventurous).

Evaluate Your Interests

Anyone who has ever raised a puppy knows all about boredom, and destructive behavior. It may be your routine is driving you to create chaos, because inevitably chaos creates change.

You’ve studied your strengths. You’ve uncovered your likes and dislikes. You chose the direction you wanted to go, and took time setting your goals. You even took baby steps, successfully, and you believe you can do it!

Where did it all that effort go?

Failure, it happens to everyone. The trick is taking the results to make your next attempt a huge success.

But, Now that you’ve tried, and failed, to change your first real issue, what should you do now?

Acknowledging Your Failure

The pain of defeat takes no prisoners. You may feel devastated, or embarrassed and shy to trying again. It’s okay to take a moment and lick your wounds. Be angry. Care enough to figure out what went wrong.

Study your outcome. Was your Attempt a complete failure? What impact, if any, did it have on your goal?

Were You Realistic?

You obviously had faith in yourself, but were you ready for the challenge? Did our actions support our intentions? Looking back, did you set yourself up to fail? Or was your failure a sign that you’re headed in the right direction?

Did You Follow Through?

The excitement of change, of being active, of improvement can make a person do the craziest things. Do you throw caution to the wind and jump in unprepared? Did you follow your plan or make any last minute adjustments?

This is the time to be honest with yourself. You spend effort and energy on preparations. If you don’t follow your plans, it may mean you’re not ready.

Consider Your Abilities

Did your plan fail because you couldn’t or chose not to follow through? You may be in need of more confidence building. Remember. Baby steps, though small and seemingly insignificant, can be extremely helpful.

What is a Good Friend?

When speaking of self-confidence, a good friend is someone who helps you maintain a positive, realistic expectation that you can live a good life. This person is supportive, loyal and Active when you need them.

Let’s take a look at Jill and Jean. They met several years ago through their children, and have stayed loosely in touch ever since. After Jill’s family moved, she came back to visit a few times, and invited Jean to her home. They always support each other, they give advice when they think it’s needed, and see one another two or three times a year. These are healthy friends.

What is a bad friend?

Bad friends can be people we see everyday who we believe are supportive, loyal and caring. A closer look at their actions, and our responses, tells a different story.

Chris and Lilly talk together on a daily basis. They became friends after coaching soccer together. Chris also teaches at Lilly’s son’s school. After she drops her son off in the morning she stops in at Chris’s room, then goes to the office and gossips with the secretaries. Too often she shares Chris’ personal business and it’s raising eyebrows on the job.

Unless someone tells Chris what’s going on, he’s probably not going to find out. He may go on believing Lilly is a friend until it causes a significant problem. She seems supportive, and always willing to listen to his problems. In fact, she encourages him to talk about them.

Actions Speak Louder

Going back to Jill and Jean, when they get together they talk about their families and fun things they are doing with them. They talk about hobbies and latest news on interests they enjoy. They also make an effort to see one another, and to extend an invitation. Their relationship is give and take.

Suddenly becoming a parent can feel lonely, especially if you’re staying home from work to care for the child. Building a support structure is vital to a positive parenting experience. When family and friends lend their support, you will feel less overwhelmed and be able to get any concerns off your chest before they start to burden you. Take a break and get a baby-sitter once in a while, as you’ll feel more confident when you feel refreshed.

Advice for parents is everywhere, from books to websites to your own family. Perhaps your community or hospital even holds classes for expectant parents. Becoming informed about the possibilities and your choices is essential to gaining confidence. This is another place where a good support structure can come in handy.

However, once you feel confident in your decisions about child-rearing, it’s important to maintain this confidence in the face of the conflicting advice you’re sure to receive. It may be hard to tell your mother to mind her own business, but ultimately, you’re the one in charge of your children. It might be in your best interest to simply listen to all of the advice you’re given without arguing and then do what you were going to do in the first place. Starting an argument will only leave everyone feeling low. Now if the advice becomes too intrusive, then you will need to have a talk with the offending party. Feeling like you’re constantly on edge and need to defend yourself won’t help your overall confidence.

Some community service opportunities require an ongoing commitment while others are one-time events. Once you’ve decided how much time you can give, one way to decide on a project is to decide what issues are most important to you. Do you feel most passionate about the environment, education, health, domestic abuse, the elderly, poverty, animals, or any number of other issues? Now wouldn’t it increase your confidence if you felt like you were doing something to improve this important problem?

Some larger cities have volunteer placement agencies that work much like job banks. They act as the intermediary between non-profit organizations and volunteers who would like to help. Sometimes you can find volunteer opportunities by reading your local paper. If you have a specific organization in mind that you would like to help, then the best way to become involved is to simply call the organization and ask what they need.

If you’re interested in educational issues, the project that best fits you will most likely involve students. Try not to feel good about yourself when confronted with a child who thinks you’re amazing. If you’re interested in tutoring or otherwise volunteering in a classroom, you can call your local school for more information.

If you’re looking to create more of a mentorship relationship, Big Brothers/Big Sisters is the most popular choice. If you want to take part in a fun environment without the steady commitment of a mentorship program, look into Boys and Girls Clubs and after-school programs held by school districts, churches and communities. Be ready for background checks before you’re allowed to work with children in any capacity.