You do not have to be hit to be a victim. Emotional abusers chip away at your self-esteem until, many times, you feel the need to tear yourself down just to meet their opinions. Others engage in self-destructive behaviors to make their abuser reject them, and go away.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen. Abusers revel in the chance to see their prophecies mature. They feel success in having “seen what was below the surface.” They know about you before, so why would they leave just because you’ve proved them right?

Self-confidence in the abuse survivor is hard to come by, but it is possible. counseling helps. Support groups are even better. Taking those baby steps to free yourself from the effects of abuse start the winding way to recovery.

Fake it ‘Til You Make It

Seemingly many abuse survivors put this method into practice. They feel if they present the face of a confident, outgoing person that sooner or later they will feel confident and outgoing as well. This almost never happens. Because they focus on the appearance of being okay, they skim over what it takes to actually feel that way.

The most dangerous thing about the fake it method is it robs you of your chance to heal. It also hurts your relationships with men and women because you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others instead of honoring what you truly do.

The Big Brush Off

Some survivors are tired of meeting the standards and decide to just not care anymore. Their houses are filthy. Their clothes and cars usually need to be replaced or repaired. They “just don’t care” but what this really means is they don’t care about themselves. If they did, they wouldn’t be living in squalor.

People using the brush off method need to concentrate on finding their abilities before depression sets in. Once their abilities are rediscovered, once they’ve toured the past for things they used to enjoy and things they were good at doing, they can begin making miniature steps toward improving their current selves.

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