In order to be self-confident, eventually you are going to have to silence the critics inside your mind. Sometimes they sound like mom or dad, sometimes like an old teacher or a respected friend. You’ve got to train yourself to see the truth. Those aren’t really the voices of your loved (or not so loved) ones. You control what they say, and what you hear.

Day One: Face Yourself

Go ahead and face yourself, once and for all. Look in the mirror. What expression do you see staring back at you? A happy one? A sad one? Suspicious? Angry? If you’ve got something nasty to say, get it off your chest now. Then let it go. You’ve chosen the path of self-support, so the criticisms – for right now – don’t matter anymore.

Day Two: Exercise Your Ego

Look you in the mirror again, only this time, be prepared to turn your words around. Remember the old saying in school? Three put-ups for one put-down? Put that into effect in your bathroom. Every negative thing you said yesterday needs to be refuted, replaced and erased by three good things you see in yourself.

And yes, you do have to say them out loud. We want you to remember what compliments sound like. We want you to differentiate between the honest comments spoken aloud, and the negative inner dialogue that holds you back out of fear.

Day Three: Keep the Music Alive

Sometimes, what’s inside your head can drown out all the good in the world. Train yourself to do the opposite. Listen to some of your favorite songs, and play them in your head whenever those negative voices kick in. If you’re angry, play an intense song in your head. Prong. Pink Floyd. Napalm Death. If you’re sad, a little Dave Matthews Band may do the trick.

Force yourself to think in emotions versus words, because too often the words we choose don’t really talk about how we feel. They avoid feeling out of the fear of pain and skip straight to criticism.

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